


The Lamest Video Game in the Galaxy

by BaronVonChop



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: New Republic Era - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Dancing, Fluff, Friendship, Galactic Dance Off, Gen, Hanging Out, Kinect Star Wars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 20:24:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3663807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaronVonChop/pseuds/BaronVonChop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lando introduces Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewie to a new dancing video game. Hilarity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lamest Video Game in the Galaxy

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based on the Galactic Dance Off mode in Star Wars Kinect. If you're not familiar with it, check out the Han Solo song here: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lg_FoEy8T_A>

The Rebels had destroyed the Second Death Star and liberated Coruscant. Some of the greatest Rebel heroes now gathered at the capital of the galaxy to show the citizens of the New Republic that the Alliance had triumphed. For now, Luke, Han, Leia, Lando, and Chewbacca, along with R2-D2 and C-3PO, were staying in a Senate apartment building. They had plenty of time on their hands while the Alliance clerks wrestled with the labyrinthine Coruscant zoning codes to find permanent homes for the heroes.

Their floor had a common lounge area with a dining table for meals and several comfortable couches and armchairs, along with a dejarik table and an entertainment terminal. They had all just finished having dinner together there when Lando opened a package he had brought with him.

“We just got the prototype to that new holo game I helped finance. Are any of you interested?” He held up a data tape.

Chewie sniffed it.

“What’s this?” asked Leia.

“I’ll show you,” said Lando with a smile. “Help me make some space.”

Luke grinned as he pushed a couch against a wall. “Is this the project you made us sign our likenesses over for?”

Han’s forehead creased. “We did what now?”

Leia nudged him. “You don’t remember? Lando took us out to dinner.”

Han rubbed his jaw. “I remember the dinner. At the grav-ballet, right? If I recall, that’s an old Calrissian special: take your prospects someplace distracting when making business offers.”

“Well, we’re almost ready to start shipping,” said Lando, “so I hope you’re not having second thoughts.” He said it with a smile that suggested that he would ship the product whether Han had second thoughts or not.

Han looked like he was working on a retort when Luke said hastily, “Well, come on, Lando! We’re all curious as to what this game is.”

Lando started to insert the data tape into the entertainment terminal when R2-D2 rolled forward with an indignant beep. “All right, I meant no offense,” Lando said, inserting the tape into Artoo’s dome.

For a few moments, Artoo’s lights flickered, and then he projected life-size holograms of Luke, Leia, Han, Lando, and Chewie. Then, before anyone could say anything, Artoo started playing some electronic dance music, and the holograms began to dance to the beat.

“The game is simple,” Lando explained. “You just dance to the songs along with the holograms. The closer you match their moves, the better you’ll score! I’ll go first to show you how it works.”

With a few gestures, Lando selected a song and started dancing.

The others watched for a few moments. Chewie rumbled something, to which Lando muttered, “Hey, it’s not as easy as it looks.”

“What did he ask?” Luke wanted to know.

Han translated: “He asked if all the red flashes on the holograms were showing the ways in which Lando was messing up.”

Chewie gave a low laugh.

“Whew, maybe I should have picked an easier song,” Lando gasped. He paused for a second to take his cape off, tossing it aside before continuing.

“I think you’re doing pretty well,” Luke offered.

C-3PO shuffled forward. “Well, I really don’t see the point of the endeavor.”

As the song ended, Lando filled a glass and plopped down onto an armchair. “It’s just meant to be fun. C’mon, who wants to give it a try?”

The others exchanged glances. “Well, to be honest,” Han admitted, “this isn’t exactly what I pictured when you said you wanted to use our likenesses in a game. I thought it would be, I don’t know, more heroic?”

Lando winked. “The idea is to help people have some fun, lighten up, after all that we’ve been through.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” said Leia with a smile. “All right, I’ll go next.” She stood up, then looked at Lando. “So how do I pick a song?”

Lando took a swallow from his glass, set it down, and stood. “I’ll show you. There’s one here I think you’ll like.” He selected a song.

Leia scoffed. “Jabba’s palace? No thanks. But I saw one as you were scrolling through that I’d like to try.” Lando exited the song and Leia picked out another one.

Han spluttered into his drink. “That’s a song about me!”

Leia tossed him a grin over her shoulder as the song began. “I’ll show you how it’s done, hotshot!” She started to dance, making sure to swagger her way through the moves. The others started to chuckle, especially Chewbacca, who nearly lost it when Leia missed a move and followed it up by pointing to herself and raising her eyebrows in a classic, Solo-style Who, me? look.

Han rolled his eyes and waved one hand. “Yeah, laugh it up, fuzzball.” Chewie thumped him on the arm.

As the song ended, the holograms showed Leia how to hold a classic Han Solo pose.

“Watch out, Han,” Luke said, hiding a smile, “You’ve got some competition!”

Han got up from his chair. “Well, let me give this a try.”

“Do or do not, there is no try,” Luke said.

Han gave him a puzzled look. “What does that mean?”

Luke smiled and shrugged. “Some good advice a friend gave me once.”

As the song started, Han began dancing, though from the start he did not put much effort into it. Instead, he screwed around, pulled faces, and generally made the others laugh. As the song ended, he chuckled when he saw the score. “Maybe it’s time for me to step aside and let Leia take over.”

Chewie grumbled something, and Han and Lando both laughed. Han jabbed a thumb toward the Wookiee. “Some best friend! He says I was a better dancer when I was in carbonite.”

Leia and Luke snorted at the same time, which made them start laughing all the harder.

When he had caught his breath, Luke stood and said, “Well, I think it’s my turn.”

“Good luck, Master Luke!” Threepio called.

“How about you, Threepio?” Luke asked. “Are you going to show us your dance moves?”

“Oh, goodness, I’m afraid I’m not much of a dancer.”

“Relax, I was joking. Okay, how about this song?”

Luke started off strong, which lasted until Leia said, “If we had known you were such a good dancer, we would have made it part of our recruitment videos!”

Luke missed a move as he laughed. Leia continued, “Lando, do you think you could program in a good old-fashioned square-dance for the farmboy?” Again, Luke laughed so much that he didn’t hit the next move.

Lando called out some encouragement, “She’s just worried you’ll beat her score, Luke!”

“Yeah! Use the Force, Luke!” Leia crowed.

Chewie had just been drinking, and it squirted out his nose as he laughed. The sight of it made everyone crack up, and soon the song was half-forgotten as everyone started calling out recommendations to Luke.

“Use your harpoons and tow cables!”

“Pick up your visual scanning!”

“You’ve got one on your tail!”

By the time the song was over, Luke’s score was almost as bad as Han’s.

Lando beckoned to Chewie. “How about you, Chewbacca? Want to give it a shot.”

Chewie waved the offer away, suddenly bashful.

“Aw, come on, Chewie!” said Luke. “The rest of us all took a turn.”

Leia chimed in, “You can’t possibly do worse than Han!”

Han raised his eyebrows when Chewie looked over at him. “Hey, no-one’s twisting your arm, buddy. But if you want to try it, we won’t say a word.”

Chewbacca got up, hesitated, then walked up to the dancing space. He took his time selecting a song, changing his mind a few times, and then finally picked one he liked. As the song began, he moved his arms and legs a bit to loosen them up, then rolled his neck one way and then the other. When the dance moves began, he nailed the first one, then the second one. The third one gave him no trouble at all, and his friends all sat forward as he continued to get a great result with each one.

“I may need to add a harder difficulty setting for Wookiees,” Lando mused.

Chewie turned his head to reply and missed the next move. He turned back to the game, grumbling to himself.

“Quiet, Lando,” Han said. “Let him concentrate.”

Threepio piped up, “Quite so. Holographic games seem to give poor Chewbacca difficulty.”

Chewie turned on Threepio and advanced a few steps, rumbling something. He noticed that he was missing moves and quickly turned back to the game, trying to get back into the rhythm of the song.

“After all,” mused Threepio, “he’s only a Wookiee.”

Chewie moaned and raised his hands in frustration. Abandoning the game, he lumbered toward the golden droid. R2 beeped a warning over the sound of the game’s music as Han stood up to get between his best friend and Threepio.

“I know, Chewie, I know, but you should at least finish the song before you tear his arms off.”

Chewbacca whuffled assent, strode back to his place, and finished the song, occasionally casting a dire glare in Threepio’s direction. By the time the song was over, he had scored better than anyone, and the droid’s impending dismemberment was forgotten as everyone congratulated Chewie, patting him on the back and scratching his neck.

Lando picked up a pitcher and refilled everyone’s drinks. “You know, there’s a two-player mode where two people can dance at the same time.”

Han gave Leia a crooked smile. “What do you say? Care for a dance?”

“Oh, yeah,” said Leia with a sharp grin, “I know just which one we’re doing.”

Han laughed when he saw the song she had selected. “I thought you didn’t want to do this one!”

Leia smirked as the music started and the holograms started gyrating. “Trust me, it’s totally different when you’re dancing it, too.”

The two of them started dancing to the music, swaying their hips and swirling their arms. Leia waited for the watchers to start laughing and teasing Han, but they remained quiet. She glanced over at Han to see whether he was dancing at all. After a few moments, her mouth fell open and she started missing moves as her concentration slipped. “You’re really good at this!”

“Thanks,” said Han, half-proud and half-embarrassed.

Lando grinned. “He’s had some practice! Why, I could tell you--”

“Don’t you dare,” Han growled, though as he said it, the song made him do a particularly seductive gyration, making his words somewhat less threatening.

“You’re full of hidden skills,” said Luke, and Han glanced over to see if Luke was being genuine. Luke’s face looked completely open, but that was no surprise, because it always did.

Chewie barked something that made Han blush, while Lando whooped and clapped his hands. “I’d forgotten about that!”

Leia gave them a playful glare. “Come on, you two. Quit teasing my dancing partner.”

When the song ended, Chewie jumped up and started pulling Lando to his feet. “I’m game,” Lando said, setting down his drink “It seems only fair I take another turn,” said Lando. He then started laughing so hard he doubled over, and a moment later everyone else joined in when they noticed the song Chewie had chosen.

A holographic Death Star appeared as holograms of Darth Vader and the Emperor started dancing. Lando hunched over and pulled his cape over his head like the Emperor’s cloak while Chewie did a stiff-limbed dance as Darth Vader that had Han laughing so hard that he had to wipe tears from his eyes.

As the song ended, Chewie motioned for Luke to get up to dance.

Luke held out a hand to C-3PO. “What do you say, Threepio? Will you be my partner?”

“Oh gracious me, I would really prefer to sit this one out,” Threepio fussed.

Luke knelt down in front of R2-D2. “What about you, Artoo?”

The astromech droid gave several beeps, followed by a rude noise.

“You can put the holograms away,” Luke chided. “Just keep the song going and dance around a bit. Come on, like this.” He started stepping to the beat of the song, and Artoo timidly began to roll this way and that to follow him. “Now you’ve got it!”

As the droid warmed up to the dance, various tools popped out of his body in time to the beat. When Artoo began spinning his torso in one direction while rotating his head in the other direction, Luke dropped to the ground and began to spin on his hip, his back, and finally his head. As he came to a stop, he pushed off with his hands, flipped rightside-up, and bowed as R2 bounced in a circle around him.

Leia, Han, Lando, and Chewie all burst into applause.

Lando stood with a flourish. “So what do you think of my little game?”

Leia beamed. “I think you’ve got a winner here.”

“It’s very fun,” said Luke, as he dabbed sweat from his forehead.

Han waved his hand, “Eh, I’m sure the kids will buy it.” Chewie roared his approval, then thumped Han’s shoulder. “All right, all right, it’s a good game. Well done, Lando.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Lando laughed. “I’ll put it on the packaging!”

“Well, sure, but then you’d better double my cut.”

“Easy enough,” Lando shot back. “Double nothing’s still nothing.”

Luke raised his eyebrows at Han. “You signed away your rights, remember?”

Chewie chuckled. Han waved at Artoo to start up another song. “I’ll tell you what, Lando. The next song is me against you. If I win, let’s renegotiate those terms…”

“And if you lose?” asked Lando.

“If he loses,” Leia offered, “he’ll do that sensuous dance for the game’s commercials!”

 

In its first week of release, the game sold a billion units on Coruscant alone.


End file.
